ADVENTURE IS EVERYWHERE: With Jordyn & Brian
Today, I'm so excited to introduce you all to Jordyn & Brian! I've been hoarding these pictures for a couple months now, and I'm so stinkin' excited to start out the LOVE SERIES with these guys. These guys embody adventure, in both big and small ways. Adventure is part of healthy relationships that last. I promise. I researched it.
Before we get started with their pictures and love story, I want to share with you some things I've researched about adventure and happy, healthy relationships.
Here it goes:
THE PSYCHOLOGY BEHIND IT:
In psychology, there's this thing called The Self Expansion Model (Aron & Aron, 1986, 1996, 1997). Based on human motivation, this model suggests that we (humans) are always trying to be better versions of ourselves... and according to this article I found we are prone to do this in romantic relationships (this model has been applied to dozens of theories and ideas, but for now, we're sticking to relationships). Basically, we're seeking to expand ourselves: our resources, identities, thoughts, perspectives, capabilities, experiences, and health to become better humans, and this model suggests that we do this by forming close relationships with other people. So let's get right down to it, shall we?
HOW ALL THE GOODNESS OF OUR PARTNER APPLIES TO US...
According to the article Approach Motivation and the Expansion of Self in Close Relationships, "self-expansion occurs in relationships when individuals grow increasingly close to their romantic partners and begin to incorporate aspects of their partners into their own sense of self" (e.g., Aron, Mashek, & Aron, 2004; Aron, McLaughlin-Volpe, et al., 2004). So if you're eating healthy and I see the positive affect it has on you, then I want to eat healthy... therefore my motivation to eat healthy has created a self expansion of a perspective. Because of your healthy habits, I am also becoming healthier.
SO HOW DOES THIS APPLY TO ADVENTURE?
Well ya see, self expanding activities, or any experience that's new and exciting, has the power to create deep connections for those who are already in love. Adventure can be anything that's new, really. Last night, Casey, Livi, and I made a fort. The last time I did that I was probably 7. The more self expanding opportunities, the happier you will be in your relationship. Easy peasy.
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE IN REAL LIFE
Can we create self expanding opportunities without going bankrupt and burning out? You bet! And when I asked Jordyn and Brian a little bit about their relationship, they shared right here in their interview. Read their interview to learn more (and snag a few ideas while you're at it)!
HOW THEY MET
We met at Oregon State University back home. Neither of us believed in love at first sight, but it was just that! "Brian came into the cafe where Jordyn worked for a beer, and both of us got crazy butterflies. Killer bees. I still remember exactly how his face looked, he has the prettiest green eyes. Ugh, I still get butterflies!"
HOW THEY ADVENTURE IN BIG WAYS
Being in grad school makes it very difficult for us to adventure every weekend, but we do our best to find new mountain towns or hikes at least twice a month. It feels so good waking up early, drinking coffee, and loading the dog up in the car! Even if it’s only two hours away, I always get a rush when I’m experiencing a new place. Last year we started adventuring down to New Mexico, which is where we got engaged!
HOW THEY ADVENTURE IN SMALL WAYS
Weekends are the only time we have to play, so we do our best to make chores fun. We’ll walk the dog up to Green Mountain, play around while we’re grocery shopping, (I like throwing things at Brian and putting weird items in the cart for him to find at checkout) or pick a new movie and make treats. We have found that by making the little things in life fun, we fall more in love with each other every day.
ADVENTUROUS DATE IDEAS FOR YOU
BOWLING! We love bowling. We also played ping pong all through our honeymoon at this great little bar in Santa Fe. I think we are both pretty competitive, so any and all games are our thing. Brian never lets me win, so when I finally do I’m the WORST winner. :)
BRIAN & JORDYN'S BUCKET LIST
We want to go to the Grand Canyon so bad! Neither of us have ever been. We haven’t been to Arizona either, so we want to do a whole road trip. Eventually I want to take Brian to the redwoods! It’s such a magical place. A California road trip is also in order. Following that is - Canada, Alaska, Norway, and the rest of the states we’ve yet to visit!
FAVORITE HABITS & ROUTINES
We are both very active, so we definitely look forward to our workouts. Sometimes we’ll go to the gym together, but mostly we do our own thing and then meet back at home for dinner and Netflix! We love any Gordon Ramsay cooking competition show, and we just started Mindhunters. (Creepy, but SO good!) I do think that at the end of the day, we both look forward to just being together. Life is exhausting, but I’ve found it’s so much more enjoyable as a team.
BEST ADVICE FOR COUPLES WANTING TO ADVENTURE BUT CAN'T ALWAYS SPEND THE TIME OR MONEY.
The best advice I can give is just do it. Get your clothes and shoes on and get in the car, even if you don’t know where you’re going. The hardest part is making the time, but if your goal is adding more adventure into your relationship, then it needs to be a priority. Life can be so hectic with work, school, kids, etc. but always make time for each other! Life is too short to have any regrets.
Why a grocery store shoot, you ask? I was inspired by this shoot through my own life, and I wanted to recreate it. Check out my instagram post for more details about that story!
Didja like what ya saw and read? For more-a that goodness, click on one of the buttons below!
MATTINGLY, B. A., MCINTYRE, K. P., & LEWANDOWSKI, G. W., JR. (2011). Approach
motivation and the expansion of self in close relationships. Personal Relationships, 19(2012),
13-127. Retrieved January 31, 2018.